Beside the Pool

Nothing is more motivating to me than the word of God. More often than not, I am energized and inspired by what He says to me. This week is no exception. I’m cherishing it and trying to prolong this time when reading His word and hearing His voice feels like being connected to a high-spirited flow of life. I know that a day when my mind is too cluttered to fully connect to what He is saying is surely on the way, so I’m taking in as much as I can right now. I was thinking about the story of the man in the Bible who was disabled for 38 years. I decided to read it to get a fresh, clear picture of him in my mind. I opened my Bible, and God met me right there. He began to remind me of the many times in my life that I have felt stuck “beside the pool.”

As the story goes, this man the Bible refers to as “an invalid” (a person suffering from sickness or disability) was sitting near a pool of water. He was there because God’s Angel visited this pool periodically and used the water to heal sick people. However, each time the Angel came, the man’s condition kept him from being able to get past the crowd and into the water quickly enough to receive the healing he needed. The Bible doesn’t say how long the man had been sitting beside the pool. The man did mention that he had seen the Angel come and go multiple times. Also, Jesus came and asked him if he wanted to be healed, and the man’s response seemed to be one of desperation, frustration and defeat. In my experience, those are feelings that develop over a long period of not being able to achieve my desires, not after only 1 or 2 failed attempts. So, I concluded he had been in that place for quite a while. That was where I began to relate to this man.

I have felt like I was right at the edge of the pool. I knew fulfillment of purpose was right in front of me, if I could only reach it. Seeming like I was incapable of reaching the thing that I was 100% convinced held the key to my metamorphosis from a plain caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly was nothing short of depressing. Knowing that if I could just take that final step forward and do the thing that I needed to do, but not being able to find the strength, motivation, knowledge or assistance needed to take that step, felt crushing. I’m speaking in past tense, but if I were to be transparent, I could admit that I’m in one of those times right now. I see myself in this man. He lived an impaired life for many years and one day heard of a pool. He began to imagine a life where he could go from being bedridden to walking. He went from merely imagining it could happen to believing that it could happen for him. So, he left the home that was fully equipped to accommodate him in his crippled state. He took a difficult journey to the place that would empower him to live a better life. He got right beside the pool and waited in anticipation for the Angel to come and charge the waters. The Angel came, but the man who had traveled so far with nothing but hope to cling to, for some reason, could not seem to make the final move to get into the water. If I could not relate to him, it would make no logical sense that this man was able to get as close as "beside the pool," but wasn’t able to get into it. Because I can relate to him, I believe this man did all he could to get himself to the pool. When he got there, he encountered challenges he never anticipated.

First, he had to wait. Waiting can be a challenge far more difficult than moving forward. Patience, commitment and character are all put to the test in waiting, and these three things often prove to not be strong enough to carry one through to the end. While waiting, he probably realized that a life of being able to walk was unfamiliar. He began to look forward and concluded that he didn’t know what was on the other side of the new life he foresaw. He found himself right at the brink of his life-transforming blessing. Although he didn’t physically move backwards, mentally and emotionally, he retreated into the safety of the ordinary but familiar life he was accustomed to living. I have done this so many times for so many reasons: fear of what was on the other side of success, feeling unworthy of God's blessings, laziness, allowing myself to be distracted by outside influences and the opinions of others, doubt that success was possible, and the list goes on.

I believe this man made his greatest mistake, after persevering to travel so far despite adversity, when he stopped trying. How do I know he stopped trying? Well, besides the fact that I am all-too-familiar with that paralyzing degree of discouragement, his response to Jesus lets me know that he was no longer making the effort to get into the water.  After a lifetime of living with a crippling issue, and after travelling so far and sitting so long, Jesus asked this man, “Do you want to be healed?” The man’s answer should have been an emphatic and resounding, “YES! WHY ELSE WOULD I BE SITTING HERE!?!?!?” His answer should have been one that was determined and single-minded. His reply should have clearly expressed that healing was the #1 priority of any incapacitated person sitting beside that pool. Instead, his response was one that could easily be translated as, “I can’t. I know the water will heal me, but I won’t ever be able to get into it. I’m just going to sit here and watch everyone else be healed. I’ve accepted that.” I’ve been guilty of having that kind of attitude, too. I have been at this same kind of crossroads where I was not as I once was, but also not yet as I was destined to be. After I had worked hard to see my life changed, I found that my efforts were not enough to get me to the place I expected to be. I know that the longer the man sat there, the more he knew he could never go back and settle into his old life. But in that same amount of time he sat there, no longer willing to even try to get into the water, he also became less convinced he would ever move forward into his new life. Again, I can relate.

The beautiful dilemma here is that it is difficult, if not impossible, to kill hope. Hope is God’s work, and His work is everlasting. Hope occupies the inside of a person and keeps them from being able to go back to a life where the thing they once hoped for doesn't exist. Even if a dream is never achieved, it will always live in the place where hope dwells. Here is this man looking ahead at what could be and also looking back at a life that he could choose to go back to. The hope in him knows that if he chose to do that, he would never be able to accept the life he had once lived as “good enough.” He knew that something in him would never allow him to stop believing that if he would just make the final move, he would be healed and walk. So, he sat. I understand the struggle of thinking something will never happen because of the thoughts in my mind that say, “Give up. You’ll never be able to do it, so just settle for 'good enough.'” But there is something else in me that tells me if I never experience the life I have envisioned, I will spend eternity knowing I never did what I was created to do. I, the invalid, will become invalid (incapable of producing the desired result; ineffective), because I never fulfilled my life’s purpose.

Here is a great thing about Jesus. When we cannot seem to get into the pool, He can do His healing work without the water. Once we have exhausted all our strength and willpower, He has true power to speak words that cause us to become re-energized and transformed. Here's the proof. God allowed the man to get himself as far as "beside the pool." But to establish the understanding of Who it is that empowers us to accomplish all things, the man was unable to finish his journey on his own. Jesus arrived, looked at the man sitting there with the knowledge that the waters could heal him and saw that he was unwilling to even try to get into them anymore. He asked the man a question that could easily be translated, “Do you even want it?” The man offered his excuse; however, when the God of hope showed up beside the pool, things changed very quickly. God looked beyond this man’s self-pity and disheartened state. He saw how life’s trials had affected this man’s ability to have enough determination to push forward. Jesus saw how people had walked over this man to get ahead. The Lord understood the unspoken circumstances of this man’s suffering and had mercy on him. The part that I love most about this story is that everyone else who visited the pool had to get into the water to be healed. But God, in His immeasurable love and compassion for the pain of every person, decided that He was going to override the formalities. His deep, passionate affection for this man caused Jesus' heart to become too overwhelmed to allow the man to stay in his broken state. Instead of the man having to get into the place where the healing was, God brought healing directly to the man. The man never even put the tip of his finger into the pool. Jesus simply declared the man to be healed by telling him to stand up, pick up the pallet that had confined and defined him, and walk into his new life. These words were Jesus' way of saying, "I know you have accepted this life for yourself, but I cannot stand to leave you this way. I love you too much!" Jesus, God in the flesh, showed Himself to be our Ultimate Rescuer and Healer. He needed nothing but His own desire to see this man reach his full potential. With that, He acted on the man’s behalf to give him what he needed to be made whole.

As I look at my life, I see the areas where I need this Power to work on my behalf. I see the things I cannot fix, the struggles I cannot seem to overcome and the dreams that seem so close, but out of reach. Then, I remember Jesus. He is the reason for my hope. He is the reason I can continue to stay the course. He is the reason I can continue to write the words that I believe will someday change lives. He will use those words to guide more people to believe in His ability to save a world that needs the power in His love. Though the journey has been and might continue to be more than I anticipated, I can trust that He will give me all I need to become all that I am destined to be.

Key Scripture Reference: John 5:1-15, James 2:17-20, Romans 5:5-8, Philippians 1:6

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