My Worship

After nearly 13 years of walking in my new life with Christ, I’ve realized something. No matter how much effort I put forth, no matter how great my intentions are, I always fall short of what God deserves. He is perfect and perfection is what should be given to Him. If it were within my ability, I would offer Him a sinless life. I would always offer Him passionate prayer. My praise would always be uninhibited, without pretense or facade. The giving of my time, money, and talents would always be cheerful. I would run every single race without so much as panting. I would endure every hardship without complaint. I would throw myself, without hesitation, into adversity and danger for the sake of righteousness and justice. I would never doubt. I would always trust. This is what my God deserves for His goodness, faithfulness, and unconditional love.

In actuality, I never always do any of these things. Every day that I wake, I commit in my mind to live the day without fault; but every day that I live, I find that I must rely on confession and grace to keep myself in fellowship with His Holiness. More often than I like, my prayers are performed out of desperation or obligation, lacking the fervor that should be expressed to The Lover of My Soul. I am too often blind to my own blessings, sometimes ungrateful, and neglect to even offer up a “thank you” as praise for His divine protection and provision. Sometimes pride makes me forget that everything I have and everything I am comes from and belongs to God. I’m guilty of counting how much of myself I give away, and just as guilty for sometimes wishing that I could keep more of me for myself. I tire when my race is long. Trials overwhelm me. Fear sometimes causes me to seek selfish refuge, stay silent, or turn a blind eye and deaf ear to injustice. No matter how I plan to be good, sometimes bad seeps through. No matter how I plan to stand, to my disdain, I fall. This is my reality.

But I’ve found that there is one thing I can do to perfection. I’ve found one form of worship that I can offer to God that causes me to abort all of who I am and only focus on who He is: Obedience. Responding to His voice and doing what He tells me to do gives me opportunity to offer up something pure to My Father in Heaven. My obedience overrides my thoughts, my emotions, and my opinions that so often taint everything else I have to offer. My fickle character holds no weight when I obey. Obedience shuts down my desires. It negates my sinful nature. It ignores my weaknesses and shortcomings and pushes me out into the place of total dependence on God’s power, instruction, and holiness. When I’m weak, His grace makes me strong enough to obey to His Word. My motives and intentions line up when I obey. Obedience is my Heaven on Earth, where God walks with me and talks with me with no reservation or hesitation. It is the only thing I have that proves to me that I am willing to go the distance for the God I love. It is the only way that I know for sure that I believe what I say I believe. My obedience allows me to enjoy God smiling upon me, without guilt or repentance, because I never have to be apologetic for doing what He told me to do. So, I've made the decision to obey as often as I can – immediately, completely, and confidently. I’ve decided to let my obedience be my worship.

Key Scripture Reference: Jeremiah 7:21-23, Jude 24-25, 1 John 1:8-9, John 15:10, John 15:14, James 1:22-25, James 2:17-20, Ephesians 2:8-10, 1 John 3:20-21, John 14:15, Romans 6:16-18, 1 Samuel 15:22, Romans 12:1

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